Narrator: People are always asking me
ifI know Tyler Durden.
Tyler: 3 minutes.
This is it: ground zero.
Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?
[Muffled]
Narrator: With a gun barrel between your teeth,
you speak only in vowels.
I can't think ofanything.
For a second I totally forget
about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing,
and I wonder how clean that gun is.
Tyler: Getting exciting now.
That old saying,
howyou always hurt the oneyou love?
Well, it works both ways.
[Police Sirens]
We have front row seats
for this theater ofmass destruction.
The demolitions committee of Project Mayhem
wrapped the foundation columns ofa dozen buildings
with blasting gelatin. In 2 minutes,
primary charges will blow base charges
and a few square blocks
will be reduced to smoldering rubble.
I know this...
because Tyler knows this.
2 1 /2.
Think ofeverything we've accomplished.
And suddenly, I realize that all ofthis:
the gun, the bombs, the revolution...
has got something to do with a girl named Marla Singer.
Bob. Bob had bitch-tits.
This was a support group for men with testicular cancer.
The big moosey slobbering all over me,
that was Bob.
We're still men.
Yes, we're men.
Men is what we are.
8 months ago, Bob's testicles were removed.
Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch-tits
because his testosterone was too high,
and his body upped the estrogen.
And that was where I fit...
They're gonna have to open up my pecs again
and drain the fluid.
Narrator: Between those huge, sweating tits
that hung enormous the way you'd think ofGod's as big.
OK. You cry now.
No, wait. Back up. Let me start earlier.
For 6 months, I couldn't sleep.
Echo: I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep.
With insomnia, nothing's real.
Everything's far away.
Everything's a copy ofa copy ofa copy.
When deep space exploration ramps up,
it'll be the corporations that name everything:
the I.B.M. Stellarsphere,
the Microsoft Galaxy,
Planet Starbucks.
Gonna need you out oftown a little more this week.
We got some red flags to cover.
It must've been Tuesday.
He was wearing his cornflower-blue tie.
You want me to deprioritize my current reports
until you advise ofa status upgrade?
Make theseyour primary action items.
Here's your flight coupons.
Call me from the road ifthere's any snags.
Narrator: He was full ofpep.
Must have had his grande latte enema.
Like so many others, I had become a slave
to the IKEA nesting instinct.
Uh, yes. I'd like to order the Erica Pekkary dust ruffles.
Operator: Please hold.
IfI saw something clever
like a little coffee table in the shape ofa yin-yang,
I had to have it.
The Klipske personal office unit,
the Hovetrekke home exer-bike,
or theJohannshamn sofa
with the Strinne green stripe pattern.
Even the Rizlampa wire lamps
ofenvironmentally friendly unbleached paper.
I'd flip through catalogs and wonder:
What kind ofdining set defi nes me as a person?
I had it all.
Even the glass dishes
with tiny bubbles and imperfections.
Proofthat theywere crafted by the honest, simple,
hard-working indigenous peoples of--
Operator: Please hold.
Narrator: Wherever.
I was holding.
We used to read pornography.
Now it was the Horchow collection.
No, you can't die from insomnia.
What about narcolepsy?
I nod off. I wake up in strange places.
I have no idea how I got there.
You need to lighten up.
Can you pleasejust get me something?
Narrator: Red and blue Tuenols, lipstick-red Seconals.
No. You need healthy natural sleep.
Chew some Valerian root and get more exercise.
Hey, come on. I'm in pain.
You wanna see pain?
Swing by First Methodist Tuesday nights.
See the guys with testicular cancer.
That's pain.
Chorus: § La la la §
§ La la la la la la §
I always wanted 3 kids,
2 boys and a girl.
Mindywanted 2 girls and a boy.
We never could agree on anything.
Well, uh, you know, she--
She had her fi rst child last week, a...
a girl.
With--With her, uh, with her new husband.
Man: [Whispering] Fuck.
Hey--Hey, thank God, you know.
I'm--I'm glad for her.
Because she deserves it.
Group Leader: Aw.
Everyone, let's thankThomas for sharing himselfwith us.
All: Thankyou, Thomas.
I look around this room, and I see a lot ofcourage,
and that gives me strength.
We give each other strength.
It's time for the one-on-ones.
So let's all ofus here follow Thomas' good example
and really open ourselves up.
Would you fi nd a partner?
Narrator: And this is how I met the big moosey...
Man: Come on. Let's go over here.
His eyes already shrink-wrapped in tears...
knees together, those awkward little steps.
My name is Bob.
Bob.
Narrator: Bob had been a champion body-builder.
You know that chest-expansion program
you see on late-night TV? That was his idea.
I was ajuicer.
You know, using steroids.
Diabonal and...
Wistrol. Oh, they use that
on racehorses, for Christ sakes.
And now I'm bankrupt.
I'm divorced.
My 2 grown kids...
won't even return my phone calls.
Narrator: Strangers with this kind ofhonesty
make me go a big rubbery one.
Go ahead, Cornelius.
You can cry.
[Crying]
Narrator: And then, something happened.
I let go.
That's really good.
Lost in oblivion...
dark and silent and complete.
I found freedom.
Losing all hope was freedom.
It's OK.
Babies don't sleep this well.
[Snores]
I became addicted.
Come on.
Narrator: IfI didn't say anything...
people always assumed the worst.
Man: Welcome, Travis.
Second man: Welcome, Travis.
They cried harder...
then I cried harder.
[Group Murmurs]
Woman: Now we're going to open the green door,
the heart chakra.
Narrator: I wasn't really dying.
I wasn't host to cancer or parasites.
I was the warm little center
that the life ofthis world crowded around.
Imagineyour pain
as a white ball ofhealing light.
It moves overyour body, healing you.
Now, keep this going. Remember to breathe,
and step forward
through the back door ofthe room.
Where does it lead?
Toyour cave.
Step forward intoyour cave.
That's right.
You're going deeper intoyour cave,
and you're going to fi nd your power animal.
[Coos]
Slide.
[Giggles]
Narrator: Every evening, I died...
and every evening, I was born again.
Resurrected.
Bob loved me because he thought
my testicles were removed, too.
Being there...
pressed against his tits,
ready to cry.
This was myvacation.
And she ruined everything.
This is cancer, right?
This chick Marla Singer
did not have testicular cancer.
She was a liar.
She had no diseases at all.
I had seen her at Free and Clear
my blood parasites group Thursdays.
Then at Hope, my bimonthly sickle cell circle.
And again at Seize the Day,
my tuberculosis Friday night.
[Coughs Softly]
Marla, the big tourist.
Her lie reflected my lie,
and suddenly, I felt nothing.
I couldn't cry.
So once again, I couldn't sleep.
Next group, after guided meditation,
afterwe open our heart chakras,
when it's time to hug,
I'm gonna grab that little bitch
Marla Singer and scream...
Marla, you liar! You big tourist!
I need this! Now get out!
Narrator: I hadn't slept in 4 days.
TV: Absolutely. We'll just let that dry.
When you have insomnia,
you're never really asleep...
and you're never really awake.
Woman: To begin tonight's communion,
Chloe would like to say a few words.
Oh, yeah...Chloe.
Chloe looked the way
Meryl Streep's skeleton would look
ifyou made it smile and walk around the party
being extra nice to everybody.
Well, I'm still here,
but I don't know for how long.
That's as much certainty
as anyone can give me.
But I've got some good news.
I no longer have
any fear ofdeath.
But I am in a pretty lonely place.
No one will have sex with me.
I'm so close to the end,
and all I want is to get laid for the last time.
I have pornographic movies in my apartment,
[Overmodulated] and lubricants and amyl nitrate.
Chloe...
Everyone, let's thank Chloe.
[Audience Saying ThankYou]
[Coughing]
Now, let's... ready ourself
for guided meditation.
You're standing at the entrance ofyour cave.
You step insideyour cave, and you walk.
Narrator: IfI did have a tumor...
I'd name it Marla.
Marla...
the little scratch on the roofofyour mouth
that would heal ifonly you could stop tonguing it,
butyou can't.
...deeper intoyour cave
as you walk.
You feel the healing energy ofthis place
all around you.
Now fi nd your power animal.
Slide.
OK. Now let's partner up.
Pick someone special toyou tonight.
Hey.
We need to talk.
Sure.
I'm ontoyou.
What?
Yeah. You're a faker.
You're not dying.
Sorry?
In the Tibetan philosophy, Sylvia Plath sense ofthe word,
I know we're all-- we're all dying, all right?
Butyou're not dying the way Chloe back there is dying.
So?
Soyou're a tourist.
OK? I've seen you. I sawyou--
sawyou at melanoma,
sawyou at tuberculosis,
I sawyou at testicular cancer.
I sawyou practicing this.
Practicing what?
Telling me off.
Is it going as well as you hoped...
'' RUPERT''?
I'll exposeyou.
Go ahead. I'll exposeyou.
Leader: All right, come together.
Letyourselves cry.
[Crying Softly]
Oh, God, why areyou doing this?
It's cheaper than a movie, and there's free coffee.
No, look...
this is important, OK?
These are my groups.
I've been coming here for over a year.
Why doyou do it?
I don't know.
When people think you're dying,
man, they really, really listen toyou
instead ofjust...
Instead ofjust waiting for their turn to speak.
Yeah.
Shareyourself...completely.
OK, you don't want to get into this.
It becomes an addiction.
Really?
I'm not kidding.
I can't cry ifthere's another faker present,
and I need this.
Soyou got to fi nd somewhere else to go.
Candy stripe a cancerward.
It's not my problem.
Wait, wait, wait.
Whoa. Hold on. I'll tell you.
We're gonna split up the week, OK?
You take lymphoma and tuberculosis--
You take tuberculosis.
My smoking doesn't go over at all.
- OK. Good. Fine. - [Coughs]
Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.
Well, technically,
I have more right to be there than you.
You still have your balls.
You're kidding.
I don't know. Am I?
No. No.
What doyou want?
I'll take the parasites.
You can't have both the parasites,
but why don'tyou take the blood parasites--
I want brain parasites.
I'll take the blood parasites,
but I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia--
I want that.
You can't have the whole brain.
So faryou have 4. I only have 2.
OK.
Take both the parasites. They'reyours.
Now we both have 3.
Hey, you left halfyour clothes!
[Tires Squealing]
[Horn Honking]
[Honks]
What, areyou selling those?
Yes! I'm selling some clothes.
So,
we each have 3. That's 6.
What about the seventh day? I want ascending bowel cancer.
Narrator: The girl had done her homework.
Thankyou.
No. No, I...
I want bowel cancer.
That's your favorite, too?
Try to slip it by me, eh?
Look, we're gonna split it, OK?
Take the fi rst and third Sunday ofthe month.
Deal.
Looks like this is good-bye.
Well, let's not make a big thing out ofit, OK?
How's this for not making a big thing?
[Door Opens]
Hey, Marla!
[Horn Honks]
Marla!
May-Maybe we should exchange numbers.
Should we?
W-We might want to switch nights.
OK.
Narrator: This is how I met Marla Singer.
[Humming]
Marla's philosophy oflife
was that she might die at any moment.
The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't.
It doesn't have your name.
Who areyou,
Cornelius, Rupert,
Travis,
any ofthe stupid names
you give each night?
You wake up at Seatac.
S.F.O...
L.A.X...
You wake up at O'Hare...
Dallas-Fort Worth...
B.W.I...
Pacific, mountain, central...
Lose an hour, gain an hour...
Check-in for that flight doesn't begin
for another 2 hours, sir.
This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.
You wake up at Air Harbor International...
P.A.: ...the aircraft has come to a complete stop.
Ifyou wake up at a different time,
in a different place,
could you wake up as a different person?
Everywhere I travel,
tiny life...
single-serving sugar...
single-serving cream...
single pat ofbutter...
a microwave cordon-bleu hobby kit.
Shampoo-conditioner combos.
Sample package mouthwash, tiny bars ofsoap.
The people I meet on each flight,
they're single-serving friends.
Between takeoff and landing, we have our time together,
but that's all we get.
Together: Welcome!
Narrator: On a long enough timeline,
the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
I was a recall coordinator.
Myjob was to apply the formula.
Here's where the infant
went through the windshield.
3 points.
Narrator: A new car built by my company
leaves somewhere traveling at 60 miles per hour.
The rear differential locks up.
The teenager's braces
are wrapped around the back seat ashtray.
Might make a good antismoking ad.
Narrator: The car crashes and burns
with everyone trapped inside.
Now, should we initiate a recall?
The father must've been huge.
You see where the fat
has burned to the seat,
the polyester shirt?
- Very modern art. - Ha ha ha!
Narrator: Take the number of vehicles in the field, ''A,''
multiply it by the probable rate offailure, '' B,''
then multiply the result
by the average out-of-court settlement, ''C.''
''A'' times '' B'' times ''C''
equals ''X.''
If''X'' is less than the cost ofa recall,
we don't do one.
Are there a lot
ofthese kinds ofaccidents?
You wouldn't believe.
Which car company doyou work for?
A major one.
Narrator: Every time the plane banked too sharply
on takeoff or landing,
I prayed for a crash
or a midair collision.
Anything.
[Screaming]
Life insurance pays off triple
ifyou die on a business trip.
[Ding]
''Ifyou are seated in an emergency exit row...''
Yeah...
''And you feel you would be unable
or unwilling to perform the duties
listed on the safety card,
please ask a flight attendant
to reseatyou.''
It's a lot ofresponsibility.
Wanna switch seats?
No. I'm not sure I'm the man
for that particularjob.
An exit-door procedure at 30,000 feet.
Mm-hmm.
The illusion ofsafety.
Yeah. I guess so.
You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
Soyou can breathe.
Oxygen gets you high.
In a catastrophic emergency,
you're taking giant panicked breaths.
Suddenlyyou become euphoric, docile.
You acceptyour fate.
It's all right here.
Emergency water landing--
600 miles an hour.
Blank faces,
calm as Hindu cows.
That's, um...
That's an interesting theory.
What doyou do?
What doyou mean?
What doyou do for a living?
Why? Soyou can pretend likeyou're interested?
[Laughs]
OK.
You have a kind of sick desperation
in your laugh.
We have the exact same briefcase.
Soap.
Sorry?
I make and I sell soap--
theyardstick ofcivilization.
Narrator: And this is how I met...
''Tyler Durden.''
Did you know, ifyou mixed equal parts
ofgasoline and frozen orangejuice concentrate,
you can make napalm?
No, I did not know that. Is that true?
That's right.
One can make all kinds ofexplosives
using simple household items.
Really?
Ifone were so inclined.
Tyler, you are, by far, the most interesting
''single-serving'' friend I've ever met.
See, obviously,
everything on a plane is single-serving, even--
Oh, I get it. It's very clever.
Thankyou.
How's that working out foryou?
What?
Being clever.
Great.
Keep it up, then.
Right up.
Now a question ofetiquette.
As I pass,
do I giveyou the ass or the crotch?
Narrator: How I came to live with Tyler is...
airlines have this policy about vibrating luggage.
Was--Was it ticking?
Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking,
'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Sorry. ''Throwers''?
Baggage handlers.
But when a suitcase vibrates,
then the thrower's gotta call the police.
My suitcase...was vibrating?
9 times out of 1 0, it's an electric razor,
but every once in a while...
[Whispering] it's a dildo.
Ofcourse, it's company policy
never to imply ownership
in the event ofa dildo.
We have to use the indefi nite article
a dildo.
Neveryour dildo.
I don't own a--
Narrator: I had everything in that suitcase--
my CK shirts,
my DKNY shoes,
myAX ties.
Never mind.
Man: Hey! That's my car!
[Police Radio Chatter]
[Siren]
Home was a condo on the 1 5th floor
ofa fi ling cabinet forwidows and young professionals.
The walls were solid concrete.
A foot ofconcrete's important
when your next-door neighbor lets her hearing aid go
and has to watch game shows at full volume...
Orwhen a volcanic blast
and debris that used to beyour furniture and personal effects
blows out ofyour floor-to-ceiling windows
and sails flaming into the night.
[Helicopter Circling]
I suppose these things happen.
There's nothing up there.
You can't go into the unit.
Police orders.
Doyou have somebody you can call?
Narrator: How embarrassing.
A house full ofcondiments and no food.
The police would later tell me
that the pilot light might have gone out,
letting outjust a little bit ofgas.
That gas could have slowly fi lled the condo--
1 ,700 square feet ofhigh ceilings
for days and days.
Then the refrigerator's compressor could've clicked on.
[Telephone Ringing]
Marla: Yeah?
I can hearyou breathing, you--
Ifyou asked me now,
I couldn't tell you why I called him.
[Telephone Ringing On Other End]
[Ring]
Hello?
Man: Who's this?
[Potato Chips Crunching]
Tyler?
Who is this?
Um, ahem, we met on the airplane.
We had the same suitcase.
[Crunching]
Uh, the clever guy.
Oh, yeah. Right. OK?
I called a second ago.
There was no answer. I'm at a pay phone.
Yeah. I star-69ed you.
I never pick up my phone.
[Crunching]
So, what's up, man?
Uh, well...
you're not gonna believe this.
Tyler: You know, man, it could be worse.
A woman could cut offyour penis
whileyou're sleeping
and toss it out the window
ofa moving car.
There's always that.
I don't know, it'sjust...
when you buy furniture,
you tell yourself, that's it.
That's the last sofa I'm gonna need.
Whatever else happens,
I've got that sofa problem handled.
I had it all.
I had a stereo that was very decent,
a wardrobe that was getting very respectable.
I was close to being complete.
Shit, man. Now it's all gone.
All gone.
Hmm. All gone.
Doyou know what a duvet is?
Comforter.
It's a blanket.
Just a blanket.
Why do guys likeyou and I
know what a duvet is?
Is this essential to our survival
in the hunter-gatherer sense ofthe word?
No.
What are we, then?
We're, uh, you know, consumers...
Right. We're consumers.
We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession.
Murder, crime, poverty--
these things don't concern me.
What concerns me are celebrity magazines,
television with 500 channels,
some guy's name on my underwear.
Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Martha Stewart.
Fuck Martha Stewart.
Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic.
It's all going down, man.
So fuck off with your sofa units
and Strinne green stripe patterns.
I say, never be complete.
I say, stop being perfect.
I say, let's... let's evolve.
Let the chips fall where they may.
But that's me, and I could be wrong.
Maybe it's a terrible tragedy.
No. It'sjust stuff.
It's not a tragedy, but...
Well, you did lose
a lot ofversatile solutions for modern living.
Fuck. You're right.
No. I don't smoke.
My insurance is probably gonna cover it, so...
What?
The things you own end up owning you.
But do what you like, man.
[Sigh]
Oh, it's late.
Hey, thanks for the beer.
Yeah, man.
I should fi nd a hotel.
Oh.
What?
A hotel.
Yeah.
Just ask, man.
What areyou talking about?
Oh, God.
3 pitchers ofbeer,
and you still can't ask.
What?
You called me 'causeyou needed a place to stay.
Oh, hey, no, no, no.
Yes, you did. Sojust ask.
Cut the foreplay andjust ask, man.
Would that be a problem?
Is it a problem foryou to ask?
Can I stay atyour place?
Yeah.
Thanks.
I wantyou to do me a favor.
Yeah, sure.
I wantyou to hit me as hard as you can.
What?
I wantyou to hit me as hard as you can.
Narrator: Let me tell you a little bit
about Tyler Durden.
Tylerwas a night person.
While the rest ofus were sleeping,
he worked.
He had one part-timejob as a projectionist.
See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel.
It comes on a few.
So someone has to be there to switch the projectors
at the exact moment that one reel ends
and the next one begins.
Ifyou look for it, you can see these little dots
come into the upper right-hand corner ofthe screen.
[Beep]
In the industry,
we call them ''cigarette burns.''
That's the cue for a changeover.
He flips the projectors,
the movie keeps right on going,
and nobody in the audience has any idea.
Whywould anyone want this shitjob?
Because it affords him other interesting opportunities.
Like splicing single frames ofpornography
into family fi lms.
So when the snooty cat and the courageous dog
with the celebrityvoices
meet for the fi rst time in reel 3,
that's when you'll catch a flash
ofTyler's contribution to the fi lm.
[Characters On Screen Singing Merrily]
[Woman Moans]
[Merry Song Continues]
Nobody knows that they saw it,
but they did.
A nice big cock.
[Crying]
Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work.
Tyler also works sometimes as a banquet waiter
at the luxurious Pressman Hotel.
[Urinating]
He was the guerilla terrorist
ofthe food service industry.
Do not watch.
I cannot go when you watch.
Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque,
he farted on meringues,
sneezed on braised endive.
And as for the cream ofmushroom soup,
well...
Go ahead, tell them.
You get the idea.
What doyou want me to do? Youjust want me to hityou?
Come on. Do me this one favor.
Why?
Why? I don't know why. I don't know.
I've never been in a fight. Haveyou?
No, but that's a good thing.
No, it is not.
How much can you know aboutyourself
ifyou've never been in a fight?
I don't wanna die without any scars.
So, come on, hit me before I lose my nerve.
God, this is crazy.
So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
Hey, I don't know about this.
I don't, either, but who gives a shit?
No one's watching. What doyou care?
Wait. This is crazy. You want me to hityou?
That's right.
What, like, in the face?
Surprise me.
This is so fucking stupid.
Ohh!
Motherfucker!
You hit me in the ear.
Well,Jesus, I'm sorry.
Ow! Christ!
Why the ear, man?
Aw, I fucked it up.
No. That was perfect.
Ohh! Uhh!
Nah, it's all right.
That really hurts.
Right.
Hit me again.
[Laughing]
No. You hit me.
Come on.
We should do this again sometime.
Where's your car?
What car?
[Belches]
Narrator: I don't know how Tyler found that house,
but he said he'd been there for a year.
It looked like it was waiting to be torn down.
Most ofthe windows were boarded up.
There was no lock on the front door
from when the police orwhoever kicked it in.
The stairs were ready to collapse.
I didn't know ifhe owned it or ifhe was squatting.
Neitherwould have surprised me.
Yeah. That's you.
That's me.
That's the toilet.
Good?
Yeah. Thanks.
Narrator: What a shithole.
[Springs Clang]
Nothing worked.
[Water Pipes Rumble]
Turning on one light
meant another light in the house went out.
There were no neighbors,
Just some warehouses and a paper mill--
that fart smell ofsteam,
the hamster cage smell ofwood chips.
Afterwork tomorrow, we'll be--
Hey. What have we here?
Hey, guys.
Hey.
It's cool.
Ohh!
[Whistling Nonchalantly]
Every time it rained, we had to kill the power.
By the end ofthe fi rst month,
I didn't miss TV.
I didn't even mind the warm, stale refrigerator.
Can I be next?
All right, man.
Lose the tie.
[Ricocheting Golf Ball]
Ooh!
Narrator: At night, Tyler and I were alone
for a halfa mile in every direction.
[Clang]
Rain trickled down through the plaster
and the light fixtures.
Everything wooden swelled and shrank.
Everywhere were rusted nails to snag your elbow on.
The previous occupant had been a bit ofa shut-in.
Hey, man, what areyou reading?
Listen to this.
It's an article written by an organ
in the fi rst person.
''I amJack's medulla oblongata.
Without me,Jack could not regulate
his heart rate, blood pressure, or breathing.''
There's a whole series ofthese.
''I amJill's nipples. ''
''I amJack's colon. ''
Yeah. ''I get cancer. I killJack.''
Whoa--Ohh!
Narrator: After fighting,
everything else in your life got the volume turned down.
[Muted Complaining]
What?
You could deal with anything.
Haveyou fi nished those reports?
Tyler: Ifyou could fight anyone,
who would you fight?
I'd fight my boss, probably.
Really?
Yeah. Why, who would you fight?
I'd fight my dad.
I don't know my dad.
I mean, I know him,
but he left when I was, like, 6 years old,
married this otherwoman and had some other kids.
He, like, did this every 6 years.
He goes to a new city and starts a new family.
Fucker should open up franchises.
My dad never went to college,
so it was real important that I go.
That sounds familiar.
So I graduate, I call him up long distance.
I say, '' Dad, now what?'' He says, ''Get ajob.''
Same here.
Now I'm 25.
I make myyearly call again.
I say, '' Dad, now what?''
He says, ''I don't know. Get married.''
Eh, I mean...
I can't get married.
[Thunder]
I'm a 30-year-old boy.
We're a generation ofmen
raised bywomen.
I'm wondering ifanotherwoman
is really the answerwe need.
Narrator: Most ofthe week, we were Ozzie and Harriet.
[Whistling]
But every Saturday night,
we were fi nding something out.
We were fi nding out more and more
that we were not alone.
Man: Who turned the lights off?
It used to be
that when I came home angry or depressed,
I'djust clean my condo,
polish my Scandinavian furniture.
I should've been looking for a new condo.
I should've been haggling with my insurance company.
I should've been upset about my nice, neat flaming little shit.
But I wasn't.
The basic premise
ofcyber-netting any office
is make things more efficient.
Narrator: Monday mornings, all I could do
was think about next week.
Can I get the icon in cornflower blue?
Absolutely.
Efficiency is priority number one, people,
because waste is a thief.
I showed this already to my man, here.
You liked it, didn'tyou?
Narrator: You can swallow a pint ofblood
beforeyou get sick.
It was right in everyone's face.
Tyler and I Just made it visible.
It was on the tip ofeveryone's tongue.
Tyler and I just gave it a name.
[Loud Rock Music Playing]
Come on, people, you gotta go home.
Turn off thejukebox. Lock the back.
[Someone Spits]
Narrator: Everyweek, Tyler gave the rules
that he and I decided.
Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club.
The fi rst rule of Fight Club is...
you do not talk about Fight Club.
The second rule of Fight Club is...
you do not talk about Fight Club.
Third rule of Fight Club--
Someoneyells ''Stop!'' goes limp, taps out,
the fight is over.
Fourth rule--
Only 2 guys to a fight.
Fifth rule--
One fight at a time, fellas.
[Laughter]
Sixth rule-- No shirts, no shoes.
Seventh rule--
Fights will go on as long as they have to.
And the eighth and fi nal rule--
Ifthis is your fi rst night at Fight Club...
you have to fight.
[Loud Shouting, Cheering]
Narrator: This kid from work, Ricky,
couldn't remember whetheryou ordered pens
with blue ink or black...
Come on, man!
But Ricky was a god for 1 0 minutes
when the trounced the maitre d' ofa local food court.
Sometimes, all you could hear
were the flat, hard packing sounds
over theyelling...
or the wet choke when someone caught their breath
and sprayed...
Stop!
You weren't alive anywhere likeyou were there.
But Fight Club only exists
in the hours between when Fight Club starts
and when Fight Club ends.
Even ifI could tell someone they had a good fight,
I wouldn't be talking to the same man.
Whoyou were in Fight Club
is not whoyou were in the rest ofthe world.
The guywho came to Fight Club for the fi rst time,
his ass was a wad ofcookie dough.
After a few weeks,
he was carved out ofwood.
Ifyou could fight any celebrity,
who would you fight?
Alive or dead?
It doesn't matter. Who'd be tough?
Hemingway.
You?
Shatner.
I'd fight William Shatner.
Narrator: We all started seeing things differently.
Everywhere we went,
we were sizing things up.
I felt sorry for guys packed into gyms,
trying to look like how Calvin Klein
orTommy Hilfiger said they should.
Is that what a man looks like?
[Laughing]
Ahh. Self-improvement is masturbation.
And self-destruction.
Excuse me.
[Screaming]
Kick his ass!
Hit him again, man! Come on! Hit him!
Fight Club wasn't about winning or losing.
It wasn't about words.
The hysterical shouting was in tongues,
like in a Pentecostal church.
- Is that it? - Stop!
When the fight was over,
nothing was solved,
but nothing mattered.
Hey, cool.
Narrator: Afterwards, we all felt saved.
Hey, man, how about next week?
How about next month?
I hearyou.
Irwin, you're in the middle.
New guy. You, too.
Narrator: Sometimes, Tyler spoke for me.
He fell down some stairs.
I fell down some stairs.
Fight Club became the reason to cutyour hair short
or trim your fi ngernails.
OK. Any historical figure.
I'd fight Gandhi.
Good answer.
How aboutyou?
Lincoln.
Lincoln?
Mm.
Big guy, big reach.
Skinny guys fight till they're burger.
Fuck.
Hey. Even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.
[Ring]
Hello.
Marla: Where have you been
the last 8 weeks?
Marla?
[Chop Socky Yell]
How'd you fi nd me?
You left that forwarding number.
I haven't seen you in any support groups.
We split them up.
That was the idea, remember?
Yeah, butyou haven't been going toyours.
How doyou know?
I cheated.
I found a new one.
Really?
It's for men only.
Like the testicle thing?
Waaah!
Look, this is a bad time.
I've been going to Debtors Anonymous.
You wanna see some really fucked up people?
I'm just on myway out.
Me, too.
I've got a stomachful ofXanax.
I tookwhat was left ofa bottle.
It might have been too much.
Narrator:Just picture watching Marla Singer
throw herselfaround her crummy apartment.
But this isn't a for-real suicide thing.
This is probably one of those cry-for-help things.
Narrator: This could go on for hours.
Soyou're staying in tonight, then?
Doyou wanna wait
and hear me describe death?
Doyou wanna listen
and see ifmy spirit can use a phone?
Haveyou ever heard a death rattle before?
Narrator: Tyler's doorwas closed.
I'd been living here for 2 months,
and Tyler's door was never closed.
[Footsteps On Stairs]
You won't believe this dream I had last night.
Yeah, I can hardly believe anything about last night.
[Gargling]
[Chuckles]
What--What areyou doing here?
What?
This is my house. What are you doing in my house?
Fuckyou.
Ha ha! Ohh...
Oh, you got some fucked-up friends, I'm tellin' you.
[Chuckling]
Limber, though...
silly coos.
So, I come in last night. Phone's off the hook.
Guess who's on the other end.
Narrator: I already knew the story before he told it to me.
Haveyou ever heard a death rattle before?
Doyou think it'll live up to its name?
Orwill itjust be a death...hairball?
[Coughs]
Prepare... to evacuate soul.
Marla, Continuing: 9...
8...
Now, how could Tyler, ofall people,
think it was a bad thing that Marla Singerwas about to die?
Marla: 5...
4...
3--Oh, hang on.
You got here fast.
Did I call you?
Huh?
Hey.
The mattress is all sealed in slippery plastic.
[Rattling]
Oh, don't worry. It's not a threat toyou.
[Siren]
Oh, fuck.
Somebody called the cops.
[Voices Over Police Radio]
Hey, where's 51 3?
End ofthe hall.
You know, the girl who lives there
used to be a charming, lovely girl.
She's lost faith in herself.
Miss Singer!
She's a monster.
You have every reason to live!
She's infectious human waste!
Miss Singer!
Good luck trying to save her!
IfI fall asleep, I'm done for.
You're gonna have to keep me up...
all...night.
Un-fucking-believable. [Coughs]
Narrator: He was obviously able to handle it.
You know what I mean. You fucked her.
No, I didn't.
Never?
No.
You're not into her, areyou?
No! God, not at all.
Narrator: I amJack's raging bile duct.
Areyou sure? You can tell me.
Believe me, I'm sure.
Narrator: Put a gun to my head
and paint the walls with my brains.
That's good, 'cause she's a predator
posing as a house pet.
Stay away from that one.
[Chuckling]
And the shit that came out ofthis woman's mouth
I ain't never heard.
My God.
I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.
Uhh!
Narrator: How could Tyler not go for that?
The night before last, he was splicing
sex organs into Cinderella.
Marla doesn't need a lover.
She needs a fucking case worker.
She needs a wash. And she's in love with sport fuckin'.
Narrator: She invaded my support groups.
Now she'd invaded my home.
Hey, hey. Sit down.
Now, listen. Can't haveyou talking to her about me.
Whywould I talk to her--
You say anything about me orwhat goes on in this house
to her or to anybody, we're done.
Now, promise me.
OK.
You promise?
- Yeah, I promise. - Promise.
I just said I promise.
That's 3 times you promised.
Narrator: Ifonly I had wasted a couple ofminutes
and gone to watch Marla Singer die,
none ofthis would've happened.
Marla: Unhh! Unhh! Unhh!
Unhh!
[Loud Thumping]
Yeah! Oh! Harder! Harder!
Yeah! Ooh! Aah!
Aah! Ohh! Aah!
[TylerAnd Marla Shouting Passionately]
I could've moved to another room...
on the third floor, where I might not have heard them.
Marla: Oh, baby!
But I didn't.
[Marla Moaning With Pleasure]
[Thumping And Moaning]
Ohh!
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
Ohh! Ohh! Aaahh!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[Screaming And Thumping]
- Aah! Ohhh! Ohh! - Tyler: Ow!
[Rattling]
Marla: Ohh!
What areyou doin'?
Just goin' to bed.
[Marla Moans]
Want to fi nish her off?
Uhh...oh!
[Clattering]
No.
No, thankyou.
Marla: I found the cigarettes.
Who areyou talking to?
Shut up.
I became the calm little center ofthe world.
[Moaning And Thumping]
I was the Zen master.
Tyler: Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
I wrote little haiku poems.
I e-mailed them to everyone.
Is thatyour blood?
Some ofit, yeah.
You can't smoke in here.
[Snickers]
Take the rest ofthe day off.
Come back Monday with some clean clothes.
Getyourselftogether.
Narrator: I got right in everyone's hostile little face.
Yes, these are bruises from fighting.
Yes, I'm comfortable with that.
I...am enlightened.
You give up the condo life...
give up all your flaming worldly possessions...
go live in a dilapidated house
in a toxic waste part oftown...
and you have to come home to this.
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
[Telephone Rings]
[TylerAnd Marla Moaning And Shouting]
Marla: Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
[Ring]
Hello?
Yes. This is Detective Stern
with the Arson Unit.
We have some new information
about the incident atyour former condo.
Yes?
I don't know ifyou're aware,
but it seems that someone sprayed freon
intoyour front door lock,
then tapped it with a chisel to shatter the cylinder.
No, I wasn't aware ofthat at all.
Narrator: I amJack's cold sweat.
Does this sound strange toyou?
Uh, yes, sir. Strange. Very strange.
The dynamite--
Dynamite?
left a residue
ofammonium oxylate potassium chloride.
Doyou know what this means?
No. What does it mean?
It means it was homemade.
I'm sorry. This isjust coming
as quite a shock to me, sir.
See, whoever set this homemade dynamite
could've blown out your pilot light
days before the actual explosion.
The gas was Just the detonator.
Who would go and do such a thing?
I'll ask the questions.
Tell him. Tell him the liberator
who destroyed my property has realigned my perception.
Detective: Excuse me. Areyou there?
No, I am listening. It's a little hard to know
what to make ofall this.
Haveyou recently made enemies with anyone
who might have access to homemade dynamite?
- Enemies? - Reject the basic
assumption ofcivilization,
especially the importance ofmaterial possessions.
Detective: Son, this is serious.
Yes, I know it's serious.
I mean that.
Yes, it's very serious.
Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me.
That condo was my life.
OK? I loved every stick offurniture in that place.
That was notjust a bunch ofstuff
that got destroyed.
It was me!
Narrator: I'd like to thank the Academy.
Is this not a good time foryou?
Just tell him you fuckin' did it.
Shhh!
Tell him you blew it all up.
That's what he wants to hear.
Areyou still there?
Wait. Areyou saying that I'm a suspect?
No, no. I may need to talk toyou a little further,
so how aboutyoujust lettin' me know ifyou're gonna leave town?
OK?
OK.
Narrator: Except for their humping,
Tyler and Marla were never in the same room.
My parents pulled this exact same act foryears.
The condom is the glass slipper ofour generation.
You slip one on when you meet a stranger.
You...dance all night.
Then you throw it away.
The condom, I mean. Not the stranger.
What?
[Chuckles]
I got this dress at a thrift store for $1 .00.
It was worth every penny.
It's a bridesmaid's dress.
Someone loved it... intensely
for one day...
then tossed it.
Like a Christmas tree...
so special...
then...bam...
it's on the side ofthe road...
tinsel still clinging to it...
like a sex crime victim...
underwear inside out...
bound with electrical tape.
Well, then it suits you.
You can borrow it sometime.
[Marla Clumps Up The Stairs]
Get rid ofher.
Why can'tyou get rid ofher?
Don't mention me.
Narrator: I'm 6 years old again,
passing messages between parents.
I really think it's time you got out ofhere.
Don't worry. I'm leaving.
Not that we don't love your little visits.
You are such a nut case.
I can't even begin to keep up.
§ Gotta get off§
Thanks. Bye.
§ Gotta get off this merry-go-round §
[Continues Singing, Indistinctly]
§ Gotta get on where §
[Chuckling]
You kids.
Wh...Why doyou still waste time with her?
I'll say this about Marla--
at least she's tryin' to hit bottom.
What, and I'm not?
Stickin' feathers upyour butt
does not makeyou a chicken.
What are we doin' tonight?
- Tonight? - Yeah.
We make soap.
Really.
To make soap, fi rst we render fat.
The salt balance has to bejust right,
so the best fat for making soap comes from humans.
Wait. What is this place?
A liposuction clinic.
Aha! Pay dirt.
The richest, creamiest fat in the world.
Fat ofthe land.
Come on.
Oh, God! Oh!
Get another one. Unhh!
As the fat renders, the tallows float to the surface.
Like in Boy Scouts.
I can imagineyou as a Boy Scout.
Keep stirrin'.
Once the tallow hardens,
we skim off a layer ofglycerin.
Ifyou were to add nitric acid, you got nitroglycerin.
Ifyou were then to add sodium nitrate
and a dash ofsawdust, you got dynamite.
Yeah, with enough soap,
we could blow up Just about anything.
Narrator: Tylerwas full ofuseful information.
Now, ancient peoples found that clothes got cleaner
when theywashed them at a certain point in the river.
- You know why? - No.
Human sacrifices were once made
on the hills above this river.
Bodies burned. Water seeped into the wood and ashes
to create lye.
This is lye, the crucial ingredient.
Once it mixed with the melted fat ofbodies,
a thick, white, soapy discharge
crept into the river. May I seeyour hand, please?
[Loud Kiss]
What is this?
This...is chemical burn.
Uh--Aah! Aah!
It'll hurt more than you've ever been burned,
and you will have a scar.
Narrator: Ifmeditation worked for cancer, it could work for this.
Staywith the pain. Don't shove to center.
No, no! Oh, God!
Look atyour hand.
The fi rst soap was made from the ashes ofheroes,
like the fi rst monkey shot into space.
Without pain, without sacrifice,
we would have nothin'.
I tried not to think ofthe the words ''sear'' or ''flesh.''
Stop it! This is your pain.
This is your burning hand. It's right here.
I'm going to my cave.
I'm going to my cave and fi nd my power animal.
No! Don't deal with it the way those dead people do!
Come on!
I get the point! OK! Please!
No. Whatyou're feeling is premature enlightenment.
This is the greatest moment ofyour life, man,
and you're off somewhere--
Shut up.
Our fathers were our models for God.
Ifour fathers bailed,
what does that tell you about God?
No, no.
Listen to me.
You have to consider the possibility
that God does not likeyou,
He neverwanted you.
In all probability, He hates you.
This is not the worst thing that can happen.
We don't need Him.
We don't! I agree!
Fuck damnation, man. Fuck redemption.
We are God's unwanted children?
So be it!
[Shouting Incomprehensibly]
Listen! You can run water overyour hand
to make it worse, or-- look at me--
oryou can use vinegar to neutralize the burn.
Please let me have some! Please!
Firstyou have to give up.
Firstyou have to know, not fear,
know that someday you're gonna die.
You don't know how this feels!
[Sobbing]
It's only after we've lost everything
that we're free to do anything.
OK.
Congratulations.
You're one step closer to hitting bottom.
Narrator: Tyler sold his soap to department stores
at $20 a bar.
God knows what they charged.
This is the best soap.
Why, thankyou, Suzie.
Narrator: It was beautiful.
We were selling rich women
their own fat asses back to them.
He was wearing his yellow tie.
I didn't even wear a tie to work anymore.
''The fi rst rule of Fight Club
is you don't talk about Fight Club''?
Narrator: I'm halfasleep again.
I must've left the original in the copy machine.
''The second rule of Fight Club--'' Is this yours?
Huh?
Pretend you're me.
Make a managerial decision.
You fi nd this. What would you do?
Well, I gotta tell ya...
I'd be very, very careful whoyou talk to about that.
Because the person who wrote that...
is dangerous.
And this buttoned-down, oxford-cloth psycho
mightjust snap
and then stalk from office to office
with an Armilade AR-1 0 carbine gas-powered
semi-automatic weapon,
pumping round after round
into colleagues and coworkers.
This might be someone you've known foryears...
someone very... very...close toyou.
Narrator: Tyler's words coming out ofmy mouth.
And I used to be such a nice guy.
Maybeyou shouldn't bring me every little piece oftrash
you happen to pick up.
[Telephone Rings]
Liability.
My tit's gonna rot off.
Will you excuse me? I need to take this.
What'reyou talking about?
I need you to check and see ifthere's a lump in my breast.
Go to a hospital.
I can't afford to throw money away on a doctor.
I don't know about this, Marla.
Please?
Narrator: She didn't call Tyler.
I'm neutral in her book.
That's nice.
Taking food to Mrs...
Hannaburr, Mrs. Raines?
Who are they... exactly?
Tragically, they're dead.
I'm alive, and I'm in poverty.
You want any?
No. No.
I got one foryou.
Thanks for the thought.
What happened toyour hand?
Uh...nothin'.
Right there.
Uhh.
Feel anything?
No.
Well, make sure.
Ok, I'm-- I'm pretty sure.
You feel nothing.
No. Nothing.
Well, that's a relief.
Thankyou.
Uh, um... no problem.
I wish I could return the favor.
There's not a lot ofbreast cancer in the men in my family.
Could check your prostate.
I think I'm OK.
Well, thanks, anyway.
Are we done?
Yeah, we're done. Seeyou...around.
Cornelius?
Cornelius!
It's me...
Bob!
Hey...Bob.
Hey. Uhh!
We all thought you were dead.
No, no. Still here. [Chuckles]
How areyou, Bob?
Better than I've ever been in mywhole life.
Really. You still remaining men together?
No, no. I got somethin' so much better now.
Really. What is it?
Well...
fi rst rule is...
I'm not supposed to talk about it.
And the second rule is,
I'm not supposed to talk about it.
And the third rule is...
Bob. Bob. I'm a member.
Look at my face, Bob.
[Laughing]
That's fuckin'-- That's fuckin' great.
I've...I've never seen you there.
I go Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I go Saturday.
Congratulations.
Yeah. Hey, to both ofus, right?
Haveyou heard about the guy that invented this thing?
Well, uh, yeah, actually. I--
I hear all kinds ofthings.
Supposedly...he was born in a mental institution.
And he sleeps only one hour a night.
He's a great man.
Oh...
Doyou know about Tyler Durden?
[Spectators Shouting And Hollering]
Ha ha ha!
Take him down!
I didn't hurtyou, did I?
Actually, you did.
Thankyou for this.
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.
Narrator: Fight Club.
Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob.
This was mine and Tyler's gift...
our gift to the world.
Look around. Look around.
I see a lot ofnew faces.
- Ha ha! - Ha ha!
Shut up!
Which means a lot ofyou
have been breaking the fi rst 2 rules of Fight Club.
Man, I see in Fight Club
the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived.
I see all this potential.
And I see squandering.
God damn it.
An entire generation pumping gas...
waiting tables...
slaves with white collars.
Advertising has its taste in cars and clothes...
workingjobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.
We're the middle children ofhistory, man.
No purpose or place.
We have no Great War... no Great Depression.
Our Great War's a spiritual war.
Our Great Depression is our lives.
We've all been raised on television
to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires
and movie gods and rock stars.
But we won't.
We're slowly learning that fact.
And we're very, very pissed off.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
[The Men Murmur]
First rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about--
[Loud Banging]
Who areyou?
Who am I?
Yeah.
There's a sign in the front
that says '' Lou's Tavern.''
I'm fuckin' Lou.
Who the fuck areyou?
Tyler Durden.
Who told you motherfuckers thatyou could use my place?
We have a deal worked out with Irvin.
Irvin?
Irvin's at home with a broken collarbone.
He don't own this place.
I do.
How much money is he gettin' for this?
There is no money.
- Really. Ain't that somethin'? - Free to all.
It is, actually.
Look, stupid fuck...
I want everybody outta here right now.
Hey. You should Join our club.
Did you hear what I just said?
You and your friend.
Oomp!
Uhh!
You hear me now?!
No, I didn't quite catch that, Lou.
Ooh!
Pfft!
Ohhh...
Still not gettin' it.
Aah! OK, OK, OK. I got it.
I got it. I got it. Shit, I lost it.
Ooh!
Back! All ofyou!
[Gun Cocks]
Everybody back.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Aw, Lou...
Come on, man.
We really like this place.
Ohh!
[Tyler HalfSobs, Half Laughs Hysterically]
Ohhh...
- That's right, Lou, get it-- - Shut the fuck up!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ho ho ho ha ha ha!
Think that's fuckin' funny?!
Ho ho, ho! Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha-- Ohh! Ho ho ho!
Fuckin' guys are loony, I'm tellin' ya.
Unbelievable. Aah!
[Choking]
You don't know where I've been, Lou.
- Oh, my God! - Ha ha ha!
You don't know where I've been! Ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Lou! Please let us keep it, Lou!
Please, Lou!
Fuckin' use the basement! Christ!
I wantyourword, Lou! I wantyourword!
On my mother's honor.
Uhh!
Lou!
Aaahhh!
Thanks, Lou.
You, too, big guy.
Seeyou next week.
This week... each one ofyou...
has a homework assignment.
You're gonna go out.
You're gonna start a fight with a total stranger.
You're gonna start a fight.
And you're gonna lose.
Excellent choice, sir.
Hey! Watch out, Jackass!
Come on!
Narrator: Now, this is not as easy as it sounds.
I'm thinkin' you really--What?!
Son ofa bitch!
Narrator: Most people... normal people...
dojust about anything to avoid a fight.
Excuse me. You sprayed me with your hose.
Like that?
That's not necessary.
Dave! Go call 91 1 !
Aaaahhh!
Stop it!
Sorry.
What did-- Come here!
Leave me alone! You crazy?
Uhh!
Unhh! Uhh!
Bastard!
We need to talk.
OK.
[Door Closes]
Where to begin?
With your constant absenteeism?
With your unpresentable appearance?
You're up for review.
I amJack's... complete lack ofsurprise.
What?
Let's pretend.
You're the Department ofTransportation.
OK?
Someone informs you that this company
installs front seat mounting brackets
that never pass collision tests...
brake linings that fail after a thousand miles,
and fuel injectors that explode
and burn people alive.
What then?
Areyou threatening me?
No...
Get the fuck outta here. You're fi red.
I have a better solution.
You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant.
And in exchange for my salary,
myjob will be never to tell people
these things that I know.
I don't even have to come into the office.
I can do thisjob from home.
Who--Who the fuck doyou thinkyou are,
you crazy little shit?
Security?
Narrator: I am Jack's smirking revenge.
Ohh!
Ahh...ahh...
What the hell areyou doing?
Ohh...that hurt.
Whywould you do that?
Oh, my God.
No! Please stop!
[Making Strangulation Sounds]
Uhh! Uh...uhh!
What areyou doing?
Oh, God, no! Please! No!
Narrator: For some reason, I thought ofmy fi rst fight
with Tyler.
No!
Under and behind and inside,
everything this man took for granted...
something horrible had been growing.
Now, look.
Give me the paychecks like I asked,
and you won't ever see me again.
And right then, at our most excellent moment together...
Oh...thank God.
Please don't hit me again. Please...
Telephone, computer, fax machine,
52 weekly paychecks, and 48 airline flight coupons.
We now had corporate sponsorship.
This is how Tyler and I were able to have Fight Club
every night ofthe week.
[Crowd Cheering]
Now nobodywas the center of Fight Club
except the 2 men fighting.
The leaderwalked through the crowd, out in the darkness.
Tylerwas now involved in a class-action lawsuit
with the Pressman Hotel over the urine content oftheir soup.
I amJack's wasted life.
Yeah! Yeah! Ha ha! Yeah!
Thereyou are, sir.
Tyler dreamed up new homework assignments.
He handed them out in sealed envelopes.
Did you know there's a Fight Club
up in Delaware City?
Yeah, I heard.
[CarAlarm]
There's one in Penn's Grove, too.
Bob even found one up in Newcastle.
Yeah. Did you start that one?
No. I thoughtyou did.
Nah.
Pff!.
[CarAlarm]
Stop for a second.
Hey, what are we doing?
Turn around.
What are we doing?
Homework assignment.
What kind of homework assignment?
Human sacrifice.
Hey, is that a gun?
Please. Please tell me that's not a gun.
It's a gun.
What areyou doing?
Meet me in the back.
Hey, don't fuck around.
Meet me in the back.
Narrator: On a long enough time line,
the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
What areyou doing? Come on.
Hands behind your back.
God.
Give meyourwallet.
Raymond K. Hessel,
1 320 Southeast Banning, apartment A.
Small, cramped basement apartment, Raymond?
How did you know?
Because they give shitty basement apartments
letters instead ofnumbers.
Raymond...
you're going to die.
[Crying] Oh, my God, no...
Is thatyour mom and dad?
Mom and dad are going to have to call up
kindly Dr. So-And-So
to pick up your dental records.
You want to know why?
Because there's going to be nothing left ofyour face.
- Aw, come on. - [Crying]
An expired community college student I.D.
What'd you study, Raymond?
S-S-S-Stuff.
Stuff?
Were the midterms hard?
[Whimpering]
I asked you whatyou studied.
Biology, mostly.
Why?
I--I don't know.
What did you want to be, Raymond K. Hessel?
[Click]
The question, Raymond,
was what did you want to be?
Answer him, Raymond!Jesus!
Veterinarian! Veterinarian!
Animals.
Yeah, animal s-s-s--
Stuff. Yeah, I got that.
That means you have to get more schooling.
Too much school.
Would you rather be dead?
No...
Would you rather die, here,
on your knees,
in the back ofa convenience store?
[Whimpering] No...No, please...
no...
[Releases Hammer]
I'm keeping your license.
Gonna check in on you.
I know whereyou live.
Ifyou're not on yourway to becoming a veterinarian
in 6 weeks, you will be dead.
[Whimpering]
Now run on home.
Run, Forrest, run!
I feel ill.
Imagine how he feels.
Come on, this isn't funny!
That wasn't funny.
What the fuck was the point ofthat?
Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day
of Raymond K. Hessel's life.
His breakfast will taste better
than any meal you and I have ever tasted.
Narrator: You had to give it to him.
Come on.
He had a plan.
And it started to make sense
in a Tyler sort ofway.
No fear.
No distractions.
The ability to let that which does not matter
truly slide.
You're notyourjob.
You're not how much money you have in the bank.
You're not the caryou drive.
You're not the contents ofyourwallet.
You're not your fuckin' khakis.
You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap ofthe world.
I'll be out ofyourway in a sec.
You don't have to go.
Whatever.
No, I mean, uh...
It's OK.
Areyou still going to groups?
Yeah.
Chloe's dead.
Ah, Chloe.
When did that happen?
Doyou care?
I don't know.
I haven't thought about it in a while.
Yeah, well...
I think it was a smart move on her part.
Hey, listen, uh...
what areyou getting out ofall this?
What?
I mean, all this.
Why doyou keep...
Is this making you happy?
Yeah, well, sometimes.
I don't know. I don't understand.
Why does a weaker person
need to latch on to a strong person?
What is that?
Well, what doyou get out ofit?
No--It's--It's not the same thing at all.
I mean, we're...It's totally different with us.
We're--We're--
Us?
What doyou mean by ''us''?
I'm sorry, doyou hear this?
Hearwhat?
You're not hearing all that noise?
Just--Hold on a second.
No, wait. What wereyou saying?
Don't change the subject. I want to talk about this.
You're not talking about me, areyou?
No. What?
That dayyou came over to my place to play doctor--
what was going on there?
What are you talking about?
Nothing. Nothing.
I don't think so.
Come on, what doyou want?
- Look at me. - No. What?
Look at me.
What is that?
It's nothing. Don't worry about it.
Oh, my God.
Who did this?
A person.
Guy or girl?
What doyou care ifit's a guy or a girl?
What doyou care ifI ask?
This is none ofyour business. Leave me alone.
You're afraid to say it.
I am not afraid to say. Let me go.
No! Talk to me.
- No! - Let go ofme. Leave me alone.
This conversation...
is over.
I just can't win with you, can I?
Hey, this is getting a little old.
[Doorbell]
What is--What is all this?
What doyou think?
Hey, why do we need bunk beds?
Hey.
Tooyoung.
Sorry.
What's all that?
Ifthe applicant is young, tell him he's tooyoung.
Old, too old. Fat, too fat.
Applicant?
Ifthe applicant then waits for 3 days
without food, shelter or encouragement,
he may then enter and begin his training.
Training forwhat?
You think this is a game?
You're tooyoung to train here.
End ofstory. Quit wasting our time.
Get the fuck out ofhere.
Bad news, friend.
It's not gonna happen.
I'm sorry ifthere was a misunderstanding.
It's not the end ofthe world.
Just go away.
Go.
You're trespassing,
and I will have to call the police.
Don'tyou look at me.
Doyou thinkyou're ever getting in this house?
You're never getting in this fucking house.
Never. Now get the fuck off the porch.
Get off the porch!
Narrator: Sooner or later,
we all became what Tyler wanted us to be.
I'm gonna go inside and I'm gonna get a shovel.
You got 2 black shirts?
Sir.
2 pair ofblack pants?
Yes, sir.
One pair ofblack boots?
Sir.
2 pair ofblack socks?
Sir.
One blackjacket?
Sir.
$300 personal burial money?
Yes, sir.
All right.
[Snickers]
You're too old, fat man.
Your tits are too big.
Get the fuck off my porch.
Bob. Bob.
Like a monkey
ready to be shot into space.
Space monkey.
Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good.
You are too fucking old, fatty!
And you.
You're too fucking...
blond!
Get out ofhere, the both ofyou!
[Door Slams]
Narrator: And so it went.
Tyler: Listen up, maggots.
You are not special.
You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.
You are the same decaying organic matter
as everything else.
Narrator: Tyler built himselfan army.
Tyler: We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap ofthe world.
We are all part of the same compost heap.
Narrator: Whywas Tyler Durden building an army?
To what purpose?
Forwhat greater good?
In Tylerwe trusted.
No, when he was like, ''You are notyourjob,'' I was like...
Yeah!
Hey, what's all this?
[Laughing]
OK!
Go on in and celebrate.
What are we celebrating?
Go on.
[TV Playing]
Hey.
Let me get that foryou.
[Belches]
Investigators are on the scene right now.
Hold on. Police Commissioner Jacobs hasjust arrived.
Commissioner, Commissioner, could you please tell us
whatyou think has happened here?
We believe this is one ofmany
recent acts ofvandalism around the city
somehow related to underground boxing clubs.
We'll be coordinating a rigorous investigation.
That was Police Commissioner Jacobs, whojust arrived
on the scene here ofa 4-alarm fi re
that broke out about an hour ago.
She's hot.
Live from the Parker Morris Building,
Lauren Sanchez. Back toyou in the studio.
- [Laughter] - Yeah!
- Ha ha ha ha! - Yeah.
Holy shit.
Yeah!
[News Anchor Narrating Footage]
- Yeah! - Ha ha ha!
Hoo hoo hoo!
What the fuck did you guys do?
News Anchor: ...how the blaze started,
but arson investigators are on the premises...
[Laughing]
Sir, the fi rst rule of Project Mayhem
is you do not ask questions, sir.
The victory in the war against crime
will not come overnight.
It will take dedication and commitment,
and most ofall, cooperation.
The streets are safer now.
There is hope in the inner city.
However, this is only the beginning.
I gotta take a piss.
These are the fi rst steps
in a longjourney.
That is whywe have created Project Hope...
Bob.
'' Helping others with prevention and enforcement.''
Project Hope will be ajoint effort
between the police and community leaders.
It will be a powerful new weapon
in the war against crime.
[Applause]
[Strangled Scream]
Haahhhh!
Wrap it around the top of his hacky sack, Bob.
Yeah. His balls are ice cold.
Hi.
You're gonna call off your rigorous investigation.
You're gonna publicly state
that there is no underground group, or...
these guys are gonna takeyour balls.
They're gonna send one to the New York Times,
one to the L.A. Times press release style.
Look...
the peopleyou are after
are the people you depend on.
We cookyour meals. We haul your trash.
We connectyour calls.
We driveyour ambulances.
We guard you whileyou sleep.
Do not fuckwith us.
[Muffled Screaming]
Fooled ya.
[Rumbling]
[Dialogue Drowned Out By Noise]
Bob, you're on this one.
Let's go.
Narrator: I amJack's inflamed sense ofrejection.
Hey!
[Shouting]
Yeah!
[Shouting]
Narrator: I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes
ofevery panda that wouldn't screw to save its species.
I wanted to open the dump valves
on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches
I'd never see.
I wanted to breathe smoke.
Where'd you go, psycho boy?
I felt like destroying something beautiful.
[Gagging]
Get him to a fuckin' hospital.
Yeah.
Don't worry, Mr. Durden.
Airport parking, long term.
Afteryou, Mr. Durden.
Afteryou.
Something on your mind, dear?
No.
All right, yeah.
Whywasn't I told about Project Mayhem?
[Together] First rule of Project Mayhem
is you do not ask questions.
What areyou talking about?
Why didn'tyou include me in the beginning?
Fight Club was the beginning.
Now it's moved out ofthe basement,
it's called Project Mayhem.
You and I started Fight Club together.
Doyou remember that?
It's as much mine as it is yours, you know.
Is this about you and me?
Yeah. I thought we were doing this together.
You're missing the point.
This does not belong to us.
We are not special.
Fuck that. You should've told me.
Hey, Tyler!
[Horn Honking]
Goddamn it, Tyler!
What doyou want?! Statement ofpurpose?
Should I e-mail you?
Should I put this on your action item list?
You decideyour own level ofinvolvement!
I will! I want to know certain things fi rst.
The fi rst rule of Project Mayhem--
Shut up!
I want to know whatyou're thinking.
Fuckwhatyou know.
You need to forget about whatyou know.
That's your problem.
Forget about what you thinkyou know
about life, about friendship,
and especially aboutyou and me.
What?
What is that supposed to mean? What...
What areyou doing?
Guys, what doyou wish you'd done beforeyou die?
Paint a self-portrait.
Build a house.
And you?
I don't know. Get in the right lane.
I have to know the answer to this question.
Ifyou were to die right now,
how would you feel aboutyour life?
I don't know!
I wouldn't feel anything good about my life.
Is that whatyou want to hear me say? Fine.
- Come on! - Not good enough.
- [Honking] - Stop fucking around!
Tyler!
[Honking]
Jesus Christ!
Goddamn it!
Fuckyou!
Fuck Fight Club.
Fuck Marla. I'm sick ofall your shit.
OK.
Quit screwing around. Take the wheel.
Look atyou.
Take the wheel!
Look atyou! You're fuckin' pathetic!
Why? Why? What areyou talking about?
Why doyou think I blew upyour condo?
What?
Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat.
It's not a goddamn seminar.
Stop trying to control everything
andjust let go.
Let go!
All right. Fine.
Fine.
Narrator: I'd never been in a car accident.
This must have been what all those people felt like
before I fi led them as statistics in my reports.
Goddamn.
Huh?
Ha ha ha ha ha hahh!
Wejust had a near-life experience.
In the world I see,
you're stalking elk through the damp canyon forest,
around the ruins of Rockefeller Center.
You'll wear leather clothes
that will lastyou the rest ofyour life.
You'll climb the vines that wrap the Sears Tower.
And when you look down,
you'll see tiny figures pounding corn,
laying strips ofvenison on the empty carpool lane
ofsome abandoned superhighway.
Feel better, champ.
[Door Closes]
Narrator: And then...
Tyler?
Tylerwas gone.
Was I asleep?
Had I slept?
You are not a beautiful
unique snowflake, doyou understand me?
Narrator: The house had become a living thing,
wet inside from so many people
sweating and breathing.
We are all from the same compost.
So many people moving, the house moved.
Planet Tyler.
I had to hug the walls.
Trapped inside this clockwork ofspace monkeys.
You can't be smoking in here.
Doyou know how much ether we have in this fucking house?
Cooking, working, and sleeping in teams.
Hang on a second.
It's under control, sir.
Where is Tyler?
Sir, the fi rst rule of Project Mayhem is you do not--
Right, uh...OK.
I'm all alone.
My father dumped me.
Tyler dumped me.
I amJack's broken heart.
What comes next in Project Mayhem,
onlyTyler knows.
The second rule is you do not ask questions.
Get the fuck away from me.
Get the fuck away from me!
Who are all these people?
Paper Street Soap Company.
Can I come in?
He's not here.
What?
Tyler isn't here.
Tylerwent away.
Tyler's gone.
[Shouting]
Lay him down!
Gunshot wounds comin' through!
Clear some fucking room!
What happened?! What happened?!
We were on assignment. We were supposed to kill
2 birds with one stone.
Destroy a piece ofcorporate art...
Operation Latte Thunder, go.
and trash a franchise coffee bar.
We had it all worked out, sir.
It went smooth until...
Police! Freeze!
Until what?
They shot Bob.
They shot him in the head.
Those fuckin' pigs!
- Ohh! - Ohh!
- Oh, God. - Son ofa--
Those motherfuckers!
You morons.
You're running around in ski masks,
trying to blow things up.
What did you think was gonna happen?!
OK, quick,
we gotta get rid ofthe evidence.
We gotta get rid ofthis body!
Bury him.
What?
Take him to the garden
and bury him.
Come on, people!
Let's go!
Hey, get the fuck off!.
Get away from him!
What areyou talking about?
This isn't a fucking piece ofevidence,
this is a person!
He's a friend ofmine,
and you're not gonna bury him
in the fucking garden.
He was killed serving Project Mayhem, sir.
This is Bob.
But sir, in--in Project Mayhem
we have no names.
No, you listen to me.
This is a man, and he has a name.
And it's Robert Paulson, OK?
Robert Paulson?
He's a man and he's dead now
because ofus, all right?
Doyou understand that?
I understand.
In death,
a member of Project Mayhem
has a name.
His name is Robert Paulson.
Come on, guys, please, stop it.
His name is Robert Paulson.
[Chanting] His name is Robert Paulson.
Shut up!
This is all overwith!
[Chanting] His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson...
[Telephone Rings]
Tyler?
No, this is Detective Stern
at the Arson Unit.
I need to seeyou in my office--
I went to all the cities
on Tyler's used ticket stubs,
barhopping.
I didn't know how orwhy,
but I could look at 50 different bars
and somehow I just knew.
I'm looking forTyler Durden.
It's very important that I talk to him.
I wish I could helpyou.
Sir.
Every city I went to...
as soon as I set foot off the plane,
I knew a Fight Club was close.
Hey! Hey!
Taxi!
Look at my face. I'm a member.
Now, I just need to know
ifyou've seen Tyler.
I'm not exposed to...
speak any such information toyou,
norwould I, even if I had said information
you want at this Juncture, be able.
You're a moron.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to askyou to leave.
Tyler had been busy.
Setting up franchises all over the country.
Was I asleep?
[Crowd Fighting]
Had I slept?
Is Tyler my bad dream,
or am I Tyler's?
Man: We'vejust heard the stories.
What kind ofstories?
Like, nobody knows what he looks like.
He has facial
reconstructive surgery
every 3 years.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Is it true about Fight Club in Miami?
Is Mr. Durden building an army?
I was living in a state
ofperpetual déjà vu.
Everywhere I went,
I felt I'd already been there.
It was like following an invisible man.
The smell ofdried blood,
dirty, bare footprints circling each other,
that aroma ofold sweat, like fried chicken.
The feel ofa floor still warm
from the fight the night before.
I was alwaysjust one step behind Tyler.
[Voices Murmuring]
Men: His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson.
His--
Welcome back, sir.
How have you been?
Doyou know me?
Is this a test, sir?
No, this is not a test.
You were in here last Thursday.
Thursday?
You were standing
exactlywhere you are now,
asking how good security is.
It's tight as a drum, sir.
Who doyou think I am?
Areyou sure this isn't a test?
No, this is not a test.
You're Mr. Durden.
You're the one who gave me this.
Please return your seat backs
to their full, upright and locked position.
[Telephone Rings]
[Rings]
Yeah?
Marla, it's me.
Have we ever done it?
Done what?
Have we ever had sex?
What kind ofstupid question is that?
Is it stupid because the answer's yes,
or because the answer's no?
Is this a trick?
No, Marla, I need to know--
You mean you want to know ifI think
we werejust having sex or making love?
We did make love.
Is that what you're calling it?
Just answer the question,
Marla, please!
Did we do it or not?
You fuck me, then snub me.
You love me, you hate me.
You show me a sensitive side,
then you turn into a total asshole.
Is that a pretty accurate description
ofour relationship, Tyler?
We havejust lost cabin pressure.
What did you Just say?
What is wrong with you?
What did you call me? Say my name!
Tyler Durden. Tyler Durden,
you fucking freak. What's going on?
I'm coming over.
No, wait, Marla, I'm not there--
[Dial Tone]
You broke your promise.
Jesus, Tyler.
You fuckin' talked to her about me.
Tyler, what the fuck is going on here?
I asked you for one thing,
one simple thing.
Why do people think that I'm you?
Answer me!
Sit.
Now answer me.
Why do people think that I'm you?
I thinkyou know.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
Whywould anyone possibly confuseyou with me?
Uh...I... I don't know.
You got it.
No.
Do not fuckwith us.
Say it.
Because...
Say it.
Because we're the same person.
That's right.
We are the all-singing, all dancing--
I don't understand this.
You were looking for a way
to changeyour life.
You could not do this on your own.
All the ways you wish you could be,
that's me.
I look like you wanna look,
I fuck like you wanna fuck,
I am smart, capable,
and most importantly, I am free
in all the ways thatyou are not.
Oh, no.
Tyler's not here.
Tylerwent away.
- Tyler's gone. - What?
This is impossible.
- No. - This is crazy.
People do it every day.
They talk to themselves.
They see themselves as they'd like to be.
They don't have the courageyou have,
tojust run with it.
Naturally, you're still wrestling with it,
so sometimes you're still you.
We should do this again sometime.
Other times, you imagine yourselfwatching me.
Ifthis is your fi rst night at Fight Club,
you have to fight.
Little by little,
you'rejust letting yourselfbecome...
Tyler Durden.
You are not yourjob,
or how much money you have in the bank!
No, you have a house.
Rented in your name.
You havejobs, you have a whole life.
You have nightjobs becauseyou can't sleep.
Oryou stay up and make soap.
Marla--You're fucking Marla, Tyler.
Uh, technically, you're fucking Marla.
But it's all the same to her.
Oh, my God.
Nowyou see our dilemma.
She knows too much.
I thinkwe're going to have to talk
about how this might compromise our goals.
Wh--What are you saying?
This is-- This is bullshit.
I'm not listening to this.
You are insane.
No, you're insane.
And we simply do not have time for this crap.
It's called a changeover.
The movie goes on,
and nobody in the audience
has any idea.
Woman: Sir!
Areyou checking out?
Yeah, uh, b-bill me.
I need you to initial this list
ofphone calls, please.
When were these made?
It says right there, sir,
between 2:00 and 3:30 this morning.
No, I w--
Have I been going to bed
earlier every night?
Have I been sleeping later?
Have I been Tyler longer and longer?
Is anybody here?
Déjà vu all over again.
Yeah, with enough soap,
we could blow up Just about anything.
Oh, my God.
Man On Telephone: 1 888.
I'm sorry, who am I calling?
1 888 Franklin. This is Maintenance.
Hello?
1 888 Franklin Street?
Yes. Can I helpyou?
Hello?
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, I need to talk toyour supervisor
right away.
Speaking.
OK, listen to me.
I think something really terrible
is about to happen atyour building.
You have got--
It's under control, sir.
Excuse me?
Don't worry about us, sir.
We're solid.
Man On Telephone: 21 60.
Marla! Marla!
Hey--Fuck!--Wait!
Wait, I gotta talk toyou!
Marla, Marla!
Yourwhacked-out bald freaks
hit me with a fucking broom!
They almost broke my arm!
Theywere burning their fi ngertips with lye,
the stinkwas unbelievable.
Look--Look, listen,
it's gonna take a tremendous act
offaith on your part,
butyou've got to hear me out.
Oh, here comes an avalanche ofbullshit.
A little more faith than that.
No, listen, I don't want to hear
anything you have to say.
You have every right to be...
Um, I'll just have a coffee, thanks.
Sir, anything you order is free ofcharge, sir.
Why is it free ofcharge?
Don't--Don't ask.
Whatever.
I'll have the clam chowder, the fried chicken
with the baked potato with everything,
and a chocolate chiffon pie.
Clean food, please.
In that case, sir, may I advise against
the lady eating the clam chowder?
No clam chowder, thankyou.
You've got about 30 seconds.
Marla, I know that I've been acting
very, very strange.
OK, I know that it's got to seem
like there's 2 sides to me--
2 sides?
You're Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Jackass.
I deserve that, but--
I've come to realize something
very, very important.
What?
The full extent ofour relationship
wasn't really clear to me up until now,
for reasons I'm not going to go into,
but the important thing is, I know
that I haven't been treating you so nice.
Yeah, whatever.
No, no-- 1 5 seconds.
1 5 seconds, please, please.
1 5 seconds, don't open your mouth.
I'm trying to tell you that I'm sorry.
Because what I've come to realize
is that I really likeyou, Marla.
You do?
I really do.
I care aboutyou
and I don't want anything bad
to happen toyou because ofme.
Marla, your life is in danger.
What?
You need to leave town for a while.
Get out of any major city
andjust go camping or something.
You're an insane person.
No, no, I've involved you
in something terrible that's about to happen.
No. Shut up,
shut up!
Listen, I tried, Tyler.
I really tried.
I knowyou did.
There are things aboutyou I like.
You're smart, you're funny,
you're spectacular in bed.
Butyou're intolerable.
You have very serious emotional problems.
Deep-seated problems forwhich you should seek
professional help.
I know, and I'm sorry.
Yeah, you're sorry, I'm sorry,
everyone's sorry. But...
I can't do this anymore.
I can't.
And I won't.
I'm gone.
You can't leave, Marla,
you're not safe!
No! Leave me alone!
Marla, I'm trying to protectyou.
I don't everwant to seeyou again!
That's fi ne, if that's what it takes...
You wait. Wait right here.
[Brakes Squealing]
Hold it right there.
- [Honking] - Shut up!
Shut up!
Take this money and get on this bus.
And I promiseyou
I will never botheryou again
ifthat's whatyou want.
- [Honks] - Shut up!
Please get on the bus.
Please get on the bus!
Why areyou doing this?
Because they thinkyou're some kind ofa threat.
I--I can't explain it right now,
Just trust me.
IfI see whereyou're going,
you will not be safe.
I'm not paying this back.
I consider it asshole tax.
That's fi ne. Remember, stay out ofmajor cities
for at least a couple ofdays, OK?
Tyler.
You're the worst thing
that ever happened to me.
[Honking]
Hello.
I need you to arrest me.
I am the leader of a terrorist organization
responsible for numerous acts ofvandalism,
and assault all over this city.
...in the metropolitan area,
with probably a couple hundred members.
Chapters have sprung up
in 5 or 6 other major cities already.
This is a tightly regimented organization,
with many cells capable ofoperating
completely independent ofcentral leadership.
Look, look, go to that house, OK?
1 537 Paper Street.
That's our headquarters.
In the back, buried in the garden,
you'll fi nd the body of Robert Paulson.
In the basement,
you're gonna fi nd some bathtubs
that have been used very recently
to make large quantities ofnitroglycerin.
I believe the plan
is to blow up the headquarters
ofthese credit card companies,
and the T.R.W. building.
Why these buildings?
Why credit card companies?
Ifyou erase the debt record,
then we all go back to zero.
It'll create total chaos.
Keep him talking.
I need to make a phone call.
I really admire whatyou're doing.
What?
You're a brave man to order this.
You're a genius, sir.
You said, ifanyone ever interferes
with Project Mayhem-- even you--
we gotta get his balls.
It's useless to fight.
This is really a powerful gesture,
Mr. Durden.
It'll set quite an example.
You're making a big mistake, fellas.
You said you'd say that.
I'm not Tyler Durden!
You told us you'd say that, too.
All right, I am Tyler Durden.
Listen to me,
I'm giving you a direct order.
We are aborting this mission, right now.
You said you would defi nitely say that.
Areyou fucking out ofyour minds?
You're police officers!
Somebody timing this?
No! No!
Keepyour mouth shut!
[Knock On Door]
Shit.
Yeah?
Hey, you know, some ofthis information
checks out.
Let's go over to that house
on Paper Street.
Be right there.
[Door Closes]
Hey! Wait!
I got him.
Sir, we have to do this, sir.
Stop fighting.
Where's the rubber band?
Get away from me!
Drop that fucking knife!
Drop it!
Back up.
Face down on the floor,
both ofyou, right now!
Get down on the floor!
First person comes out this fucking door
gets a--gets a lead salad, you understand?
[Horns Blaring]
Get away! Get away!
I ran.
I ran until my muscles burned
and myveins pumped battery acid.
Then I ran some more.
What the fuck areyou doing?
Running around in your underpants.
Man, you look like a crazy person.
No, I'm ontoyou.
I know what's going on here.
Well come on, then.
I got us a great place to watch from.
[Grunting]
It'll be like pay-per-view.
Oh, Christ.
Now what areyou doing?
I'm stopping this.
Why? Greatest thing you've ever done, man.
No, I can't let this happen.
You know there are 1 0 other bombs
in 1 0 other buildings.
God damn it, since when is Project Mayhem
about murder?
The buildings are empty.
Security and maintenance, all our people.
We're not killing anyone, man,
we're setting 'em free.
Bob is dead.
They shot him in the head.
You wanna make an omelet,
you gotta break some eggs.
No, I'm not listening toyou.
You're not even there.
Wouldn't do that.
Not unless I knew which wires were what.
Ifyou know, then I know.
Or...
maybe I knew you'd know,
so I spent the whole day
thinking about the wrong ones.
You think?
Oh, heavens no, not the green one.
Pull any one but the green one.
I asked you not to do that!
Tyler, get away from the van.
Tyler, I'm not kidding!
Get away from the van!
God damn it!
Whoa!
OK, you are now fi ring a gun
atyour imaginary friend
near 400 gallons ofnitroglycerin!
Look, Tyler, Tyler!
Ahh!
Aw, come on.
Don't go.
What?!
3 minutes.
This is it.
The beginning.
Ground zero.
I think this is about where we came in.
Would you like to say a few words
to mark the occasion?
[Mumbling]
I'm sorry?
I still can't think ofanything.
Ah, flashback humor.
It's getting exciting now.
2 and 1 /2.
Think ofeverything
we've accomplished, man.
Out these windows, we will view
the collapse offi nancial history.
One step closer to economic equilibrium.
Why is she here?
Tying up loose ends.
Marla: Put me down, you bald-headed fucks!
I'm begging you,
please don't do this.
I'm not doing this.
We are doing this.
This is what we want.
No, I don't want this.
Right, exceptyou is meaningless now.
We have to forget aboutyou.
Jesus, you're a voice in my head.
You're a voice in mine.
You're a fucking hallucination,
why can't I get rid ofyou?
You need me.
No, I don't, I really don't anymore.
Hey, you created me.
I didn't create some loser alter ego
to make myself feel better.
Take some responsibility.
I do.
I am responsible for all ofit,
and I accept that.
So please, I'm begging you,
please call this off.
Have I ever let us down?
How far haveyou come because ofme?
I will bring us through this.
As always,
I will carryyou, kicking and screaming,
and in the end, you will thank me.
Tyler.
Tyler, I'm grateful toyou
for everything
thatyou've done for me.
But this is too much.
I don't want this.
What doyou want?!
Want to go back to the shitjob,
fucking condo world, watching sitcoms?
Fuckyou. I won't do it.
Oh, God, this can't be happening.
It's already done, so shut up.
60 seconds.
Can you see alright?
I can figure this out.
I can figure this out, this isn't even real.
You're not real, that gun isn't--
That gun isn't even in your hand.
The gun's in my hand.
Hey, good foryou. Doesn't change a thing.
Why doyou want to put a gun toyour head?
Not my head, Tyler.
Our head.
Interesting.
Where areyou going with this, I KEA boy?
Hey, it's you and me.
Friends.
Tyler...
I wantyou to really listen to me.
OK.
My eyes are open.
What's that smell?
[Elevator Bell Dings]
Where is everybody?
I don't know, what's goin' on?
Mr. Durden!
Oh, my God.
Sir?
Areyou, uh...
Areyou alright, sir?
Oh, yeah, I'm OK.
You look terrible, sir.
What happened?
Oh, nothing. It's no problem.
Oh, no, no, sir, he's not kidding.
You look really awful.
You need medical assistance.
- I'm fi ne. - Ugh.
Look, I'm fi ne.
Everything's fi ne.
[Marla Shouting]
Let--Let her go.
Christ almighty!
You!
Hi, Marla.
Leave her with me,
getyour stuff,
I'll meetyou downstairs.
Areyou sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
You fucker!
What kind ofsick fucking game
areyou playing now,
putting me on a fucking bu--
Oh, my God, your face!
Yeah, I know.
What happened?
Don't ask.
You're shot.
Yes, I'm shot.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe he's standing.
One tough motherfucker.
Who did this?
I did, actually.
Find some gauze.
You shot yourself?
Yes, but it's OK.
Marla, look at me.
I'm really OK.
Trust me.
Everything's gonna be fi ne.
You met me at a very strange time
in my life.
§With your feet on the air§
§And your head on the ground §
§Try this trick and spin it, yeah §
§Your head'll collapse §
§ Ifthere's nothing in it §
§And you'll ask yourself§
§Where is my mind? §
§Way out in the water, see it swimming §
§ I was swimming in the Caribbean §
§Animals were hiding behind the rock§
§ Except for little fish §
§When they told me east is west §
§Trying to talk to me, coy koi §
§Where is my mind? §
§Way out in the water, see it swimming §
§With your feet on the air§
§And your head on the ground §
§Try this trick and spin it, yeah §
§Your head'll collapse ifthere's nothing in it §
§And you'll askyourself§
§Where is my mind? §
§Way out in the water, see it swimming §